So this is the first blog post with my new brand: Mama Quackers! I do hope you like this fun, quirky name chosen for this specific niche in which I’ve decided to venture. For so long, I have been wanting to share how I feel that it is pregnancy and these early steps into motherhood which has altered my drive and motivation to live the most fulfilled, successful life I can get more me and my family.
I am a believer in Eastern medicine and spiritual systems and that we are made of 3 major elements- the Mind, the Body and the Spirit. This is how I will choose to explain how this experience has healed each element in order to make me feel so together and balanced.
It was at this time, when I felt like a complete failure, that my husband told me that he believed in me and proposed to me, giving me this rush of belonging and meaning…
Before Dean and I were engaged, I was desperately trying to start making a living from home while working a full time meaningless job with long hours shortly after choosing to leave my university degree in my final year (see full story here). These were the days where I believe I suffered most, mentally. My mind still hadn’t recovered from the stress and anxiety-filled days of appealing against the university discipline system and being consistently belittled by these robotic humanoids who literally watched me have a breakdown in front of their stone cold eyes.
I was now being mentally drained for up to 11 hours a day in a call centre, surrounded by negative energy from people who just didn’t care. It was at this time, when I felt like a complete failure, that my husband told me that he believed in me and proposed to me, giving me this rush of belonging and meaning, which allowed me the positive energy I needed to find another job- another job which resulted in negative backlash…
I wanted to be at home, where my family could be my priority.
The marriage offer and how much it meant to me was only the beginning of my realisation that my most valued priority is actually having a family of my own. To me marriage creates a mutual name for our own little tribe and it was at this time, my maternal instincts began to rise. I felt that, I was just not cut out to work for someone else. I wanted to be at home, where my family could be my priority.
Even after attempting a new career path, I found I was just desperately reaching out for a means of making a living because I had lost all confidence in having my own business; earning an apprentice wage for something I knew, deep down, just wasn’t me. I had repressed my maternal instincts, reluctantly, and the desire to work from home was within my own aura, but I just could not reach it…
I struggled with my apprenticeship and had kind of given up on it before realising that I would have to- like my body was saying “It’s time to do what you were made for. Just walk away from this now”.
My body embraced the work I was doing and allowed me to stay reasonably active and I flowed through the second trimester!
It was several months into this apprenticeship that I discovered I was pregnant. A chilly, late November night, not long after our marriage, I was so excited to tell Dean that he, at last, was going to be a Dad. Due to hormones and a little anxiety about the whole situation, I struggled with my apprenticeship and had kind of given up on it before realising that I would have to- like my body was saying “It’s time to do what you were made for. Just walk away from this now”. I was very fortunate to have an understanding manager at work who offered me a more suitable, physical job which I knew was more for me at this time.
This job challenged, yet helped my body throughout my pregnancy. After the long, hard Winter and very sickly first trimester, my body embraced the work I was doing and allowed me to stay reasonably active and I flowed through the second trimester! By the time my body really started to evolve into a baby-growing machine, I did begin to struggle with energy again. I knew this was down to my body telling me to put the brakes on and listen to baby’s needs. I was so pleased with the timing of my maternity leave as I had energy to get things sorted before the fatigue really kicked in.
Mother Nature has been so kind to my body, offering plenty of vitamin D throughout my final trimester to get me the most natural source of energy on this earth. The tropical weather over the Spring and early Summer has certainly made up for the struggle of Winter, the mental challenges and everything else haunting my past. The more of a mother I became, the more positive energy I gain and the more empowerment I build to fulfill my own purpose in life. Being with nature is such a huge value to me; just sitting in my garden watching birds feed their young inspires me to spend my future days giving all I have to my child.
My Spirit came alive in a whole new level at conception and grew alongside my little one with drive and passion- like my Spirit was reborn with my baby.
Whatever factors challenge your mind and body, I always feel that it is the Spirit that pushes us through, allowing us to conquer absolutely anything we intend to do. My Spirit came alive in a whole new level at conception and grew alongside my little one with drive and passion- like my Spirit was reborn with my baby.
Particularly in the final trimester, my Spirit blossomed. I just knew that my baby was healthy. I just knew my mind was ready for this challenge and I just knew that my body was dealing with it just as nature intended it. I would say that I’ve always taken an optimistic approach to life, however, during those 9 months I have felt positive energy like no other. I hold onto my little one and promise him every day that he will be loved and is the reason his parents are pursuing the lifestyle they really want. We will show him that something huge can be created from very little in the beginning. We will aspire to lead self-fulfilling, self-sufficient lives and show gratitude for what we have each step of the way.
This is how my first pregnancy has healed me and changed my whole life, all from the existence of a tiny little infant with the most powerful spirit in the world. Our children are indeed our future- a commonly used phrase with so much truth to it. This step into parenthood has already taught me so much about maternal love. It grows every single day and I just know that everything we do now, is for our child and any future children we may have. The nest is built and ready for our offspring.
This, my first child, I will thank every day for the rest of my life for motivating me to be who I want to be and raising my own spirit as he develops his own. This pregnancy has healed me, inside and out and that’s all I have to say.
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