Learning from the best…
As a new Mama, who better to look to for guidance than your own Mother and your children’s Grandmother! This will be my Mam’s first Mother’s Day as a Grandmother- and what a smashing job she is doing at this too; in this post I will be sharing 5 things I’ve learned from my own upbringing (what I am still learning from my Mam) and what can help me deliver a similar positive experience to my son.
This is my second of three special Mother’s Day posts- if you didn’t see my first interactive Q&A post head straight to it via the link at the end of this post.
1. be there
As I have mentioned in previous posts, when speaking about feeling inspired by my own parents, my Mam was a stay-at-home Mother. I believe this contributed massively to my happy childhood and the feeling of security when I did eventually settle into school- I knew she was there. Of course working Mothers are there too! I just can’t speak from a child’s perspective on this experience.
As well as being there physically, it is just as important to be there emotionally and develop that connection by being present with your child during play times, meal times and those times you just can’t be…
All I know is, for us, it worked and I feel that for Jesse it will work too and I will do everything in my power to be there for him, as my mother was there for me.
2. be a child
I think the most fun thing about my Mam is that she was able to just embrace her inner child around me and my friends by joining in our games as well as creating exciting treasure hunts and other activities! I felt like the adventures we had within the familiar environment of our own home were so memorable because I felt like I had another child on my wavelength with me the whole time. I was an only child but I definitely didn’t feel it when I played with Mam.
Sometimes when Jesse gets giddy now and needs excitable stimulation, I find myself embracing my inner child too (and this trait is also present in Dean), knowing how it will feel for him as he continues to develop into a child- I want him to see me as his best friend too!
3. be instinctual
More recently, during talks while I was pregnant, my Mam has shared with me that she always did what she felt was right- despite the tons of advice thrown at her. This is the best advice I could offer any new Mama. This is brought up all the time during pregnancy and the early post-natal days- how everyone has an opinion and tells you what is right/wrong…
What I have learned is that my instinct is always right. The reason why Jesse is thriving is because I followed my instinct and overcame fears of judgment. Babies are instinctual because they don’t know any other form of functioning- new mothers are quite the same…
4. be an empath
Even after years of not living within the same household (and county!) I feel like my Mother can read my mind! We developed such a connection through childhood when she was at home, that there is pretty much nothing I can do which is secret to her. She knows what I feel and why I’m feeling it (most of the time!) My Mam was always so understanding when I had any negativity and any failures, I felt more fear of disappointing my parents- even though I know the depth of their empathy.
I remember a particular experience where I felt the empathy I describe so strongly, it was like a kick in the gut. It was a time in which all attention had been instantly drawn to me unexpectedly and I pretty much had an anxiety episode on the spot. My Mam addressed the fear in my eyes instantly and responded on an emotional level that only she and I were aware of- she felt my fear. If I can build a bond with Jesse as to achieve moments like this, I know I have done an amazing job bringing up my child and engaging in his emotional intelligence.
5. WE can be more!
We are not just Mothers. We are teachers, we are coaches, we are role models, we are best friends, we are nurses, we are cooks, cleaners and taxis! Not only that, we are free, empowered women with the potential to grow further, aim higher and be anything we want to be!
My Mother was at home for me when I needed her. When I left school, she started to become a contributer to the household income and now she is a successful, confident businesswoman! She has empowered my Dad to join her on their venture to becoming the self-sufficient, inspirational entrepreneurs that they are!
This is what drives me back into the career I desire, this is what keeps me believing I can be more. I will be at home for Jesse when he needs me AND be a successful businesswoman, myself, just as my own Mother has proved to be possible.
Thank you, Mam, for giving me the hope, the desire and the support to be a Mother just like you, for my own family xxx
Please share in the comments the best things you have learned from your own Mothers or mothering figures in your life 🙂
Photography by Richard McGowan (my Dad)